The Hacker Chronicles

1.11 This Is Not A Simulation

Episode Summary

Alice hasn’t gotten away with as much as she thinks she has.

Episode Notes

Alice hasn’t gotten away with as much as she thinks she has.


The Hacker Chronicles is an original series created by the team at Tenable.

Produced by Caspian Studios
 

 

Episode Transcription

Genie:

Alice. Alice, wake up.

Alice:

What? Genie, it's like six in the morning. What's going on?

Genie:

It's all over the dark web message boards. They're saying it's big.

Alice:

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. What are you talking about? Oh my god.

Genie:

Everyone is talking about it.

Alice:

About what? What? What?

Genie:

The attack on Robert Sky, Alice. They had to shut down all their operations.

Alice:

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Genie:

Alice, what did you do?

Alice:

I'm still not following.

Genie:

I don't know exactly what happened, but every big hacker message board on the dark web is saying that someone launched a Log4Shell attack on Robert Sky for seemingly no reason, no ransom or anything, just pure destruction, in that Robert Sky has no idea what to do.

Alice:

Okay. Okay. So, I mean, what does that have to do with me? Where are you going...

Genie:

A few weeks ago, you were in Robert Sky's end points, and now they're the victim of a ransomware attack? Alice.

Alice:

Come on, you woke me up because you thought I hacked Robert Sky?

Genie:

You've broken my rules before.

Alice:

Come on, Genie. We've been hanging out this entire weekend, I've been snowboarding with you and play a War Zone with you and Falcon and Falcon's new girlfriend. I mean, come on. Do I look like someone who would be covering up a massive cyber attack? Oh my God, you look like you don't believe me. Genie, come on.

Genie:

Alice. I want to. I really do. But you can be so impulsive. How do I know you didn't just change your mind?

Alice:

I know I lied to you about breaking your rules, but after you talked me off the ledge, after I got into Robert Sky, I just deleted everything. I mean, I locked myself out and I threw that key off the Staten Island Ferry because you were right. Come on, my computer's right here, Genie, just go through it if you want to. I don't even have the ransomware subscription anymore. It's all gone. I promise. There's just some really embarrassing emo song lyrics. I think I should probably just stick to the piano.

Genie:

Oh, Alice, I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed.

Alice:

It's okay. It's okay. Don't be. It's probably on me because I mean, I didn't listen to you the first time. But, hey, can I just see what they're talking about?

Genie:

Yeah, yeah, of course. Look here. It's right here on my phone. There are a few insiders posting about it. Well connected people who know what's going on. Apparently the hacker encrypted Robert Sky's endpoints and didn't ask for a ransom they just... Well, I guess they threw the key off of a ferry too.

Alice:

Well, that sounds dumb. I mean, why even bother doing that if you're not asking for money? I still don't get it. How could such a large company still be vulnerable to Log4j? It's just nuts if you ask me.

Genie:

Well, if you scroll down, someone says the company's internal systems hadn't been patched yet. Apparently they're too busy fixing their external facing stuff. I guess when you're that big of a company, you're bound to have a lot of enemies.

Alice:

Yeah. After that oatmeal [inaudible 00:03:30] call, I Googled them. They're the third biggest buyer of palm oil. That means they're literally responsible for wiping out a good chunk of the planet. And don't even get me started on how ticked off people were about the oatmeal [inaudible 00:03:43] for good reason. They were putting people in the hospital, those assholes.

Genie:

Geez. Now, I want to hack them.

Alice:

You should totally hack them, Genie.

Genie:

I'm sorry, Alice. I feel so stupid. I...

Alice:

It's okay. It's okay. I mean, I don't blame you. It is a small world though, right?

Genie:

Yeah, that's a good way of putting it.

Alice:

I met this guy once who thought the world was all just a simulation, and I don't know if this is the lack of sleep talking or what, but it just kind of makes you wonder, what if a coincidence is just the simulation putting something in our programming to make us feel like we're connected to something bigger? But the reality is that the world is totally huge, and we're just two very, very small parts of it. You know what I mean?

Genie:

Where'd you meet this guy? Joystick?

Alice:

No, I met him on the Staten Island Ferry. Just a random New York wacko. But simulation or not, I kind of want to go back to sleep, Genie. We only got like two hours, or at least I only got two hours.

Genie:

For sure. Yeah. See you in the morning?

Alice:

Yeah, maybe in the afternoon. The word was out. I couldn't believe it. I'd done it and my work was being noticed. The insiders on the dark web said it was simple, elegant. A few people said, I got lucky, whatever. But they all agreed on one thing. By not asking for a ransom, I was taking a stand. I was making an impact. I was sending a message that these big businesses didn't have the power they thought. Us little guys can pack a heck of a punch. I never expected this. I thought I'd give Robert Sky a hell of a headache. Call it a Log4j induced hangover. Instead, their vital functions were shutting down. I'd hit them right where it hurt, and as far as I knew I'd gotten away with it. I'd thrown the evidence off the Staten Island Ferry. Metaphorically, of course. So I spent the next few days playing pianos, snowboarding, maybe hanging out a little too much with Arthur. I had no idea what I was going to do next, but I'd never been happier.

NEWS ANNOUNCER:

In a public statement, global food conglomerate, Robert Sky has disclosed that it is the victim of a massive ransomware attack. According to the company's statements, the attack began four days ago. Over 80% of the company systems are affected, but the company believes consumers will not be impacted. As day six of the Robert Sky ransomware attack continues, the company has announced that due to the extent of the damage, it'll have to completely rebuild its IT systems. This will wreak havoc for the global food conglomerate and potentially for consumers around the world who are already wrestling with supply chain issues due to the COVID 19 pandemic.

Jerry:

Today on the Tenable Research Podcast, you know what? Let's jump right into it. We're six days into this Robert Sky thing, Francois, this is crazy.

Francois:

I got to say, Jerry, Robert Sky's response is baffling to me. If they don't get this figured out in the next few days, we're going to see grocery shelves even empty than they already are.

Jerry:

Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying there's not going to be any more of those dalgona cookies?

Francois:

Jerry, you really have a weird set of priorities. But do you know what else is bothering me right now? All the conspiracy theories around the source of the attack. We know nothing about who did this, but everyone is quick to point their fingers blindly. That doesn't help it.

Alice:

They deserved it. It's not my fault. They couldn't fix this quicker. They're the ones who didn't patch their stupid Log4j. Where are those belt peppers? Seriously, people need to wake up. Companies shouldn't have this much power. You took a stand. You made an impact, Alice. This matters. Where's that bacon? Swear, I had some. Oh God, I'm losing it. Shoot. It's Arthur's birthday, meant to get him something.

Speaker 6:

[inaudible 00:08:46] rock.

Speaker 7:

You're listening to 89.9 WPRZ, Lake Placid's classical radio station. And now for today's news, as the fallout from the ransomware attack on multinational food conglomerate, Robert Sky Foods continues, for shoppers, this means grocery stores will not be able to restock many of their favorite items. Robert Sky Foods, which owns more than 200 foods brands, ranging from frozen pizzas to pet food, has said it will not be able to supply vendors until the hack is resolved. Meanwhile, the FBI believes a rogue nation state is responsible for the hack and is working closely with Interpol to try-

Alice:

It wasn't a rogue nation state. It was me.

Arthur:

Yeah, it means a lot that you remembered.

Alice:

Happy birthday.

Arthur:

Thank you. You are the second person to come in and tickle the ivories today.

Alice:

Really?

Arthur:

Yep, a few hours ago, this guy in a suit walks out of a black government SUV, looked like the Feds. He got some cold cuts and played Heart and Soul not well, while I prepped his order. Asked me if I'd seen anyone strange in town, other than him. I mean, come on. Wonder what someone dressed like [inaudible 00:10:26] is doing here, and the government is always watching. It was probably drugs. I mean, it always is. I was never into anything but grass myself. The simple stuff, stuff that grows out of the ground. Now, you probably see him around small town like this. Alice? Alice, are you okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost.

Alice:

I left my wallet in the truck, I think. I'll be right back. Just one sec. Okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. God. Whew. No, they didn't follow you here. They didn't follow you here. There's no way. It's just a coincidence. You covered your tracks perfectly. All right. You're going to be fine. Here we go. Ugh.

Speaker 8:

Breaking news from Washington. The FBI has announced there his new evidence in the Robert Sky Foods attack showing that the hack originated from within the United States. Further, details are currently-

Alice:

Shit. Okay. Okay. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. God, that better not be another voicemail. Wait, who's calling me on Signal? Oh, God.

John Doe:

Hello, Alice. I hear you're in trouble.

Alice:

Who is this?

John Doe:

A friend.

Alice:

What? You don't sound like a friend.

John Doe:

Don't believe everything you see in the news. The FBI is not on you yet. But if it's this easy for me to find you, they'll find you soon. [inaudible 00:12:33].

Alice:

I don't know what you're talking about.

John Doe:

I can help you, because that's what friends do. Think about it. You have three hours to decide. I'll be in touch.

Alice:

What the... Okay. Okay. Think Alice. Okay. Think, think, think. Oh my God. Oh my gosh. Oh my God. You got to do something. You got to do something. All right. Shit, I never should have done this. Okay, I got it. Okay, I got to tell him. I got to tell him. Hi, if you're listening to this, whoa. If you're listening to this, I don't know. I don't know what I'm supposed to say, but if you're listening to this, something very serious has happened to me. Maybe I'm dead. Maybe I'm in jail. Maybe I'm in a jungle somewhere. I don't know. But all I know is this, I just wanted to do something for myself and I realized that I totally screwed you in the process.

Alice:

This might be the only chance I have to tell you my side of the story. So I'm just going to tell that. Okay? I'm going to tell you a story. The story of how I went from working in a coffee shop to being the most wanted hacker in America. It all started eight weeks ago. So that's it. My story. That's everything. The real story behind the Robert Sky hack. All I wanted was to play the piano, and I got lost. I was so wrapped up in finally being great at something that I just didn't... I'll put it this way. I only ever went to Wine Night once, and I was making small talk with Katie, and I asked her why she liked wine. She told me wine is kind of like life, that every wine bottle has a cork. So no matter if the bottle is $10 or $10,000, there's the same piece of wood on top. She said the thing she loves about wine is that every time she opens a bottle, she's reminded it's what's inside the bottle that counts.

Alice:

It's about the effort the vineyard puts in, the hard work, the intention. I know it sounds really cheesy, but it really stuck with me because I hadn't been paying enough attention to what was inside me, why I was so angry, so bitter. I spent so much time getting beat down that I took the first chance I had to do something. So that's my story. My hacker chronicles, if you will. God, I hope this isn't how I'm going to be remembered, but if it is, then here we are. This is Alice Mitnick, aka Able 10, and I'm sorry. Okay. Just send this to your proton mail account. What? New voice message? Come on.

John Doe:

Alice, I'm waiting. Call me.

Alice:

God. Who is this freaking creep? What am I going to do? I got to go see Genie. Yeah, what's he going to do when you tell him the truth, Alice? It doesn't matter. I got to tell him everything and I got to tell him in person. Oh, sorry. I thought this was Daniel's apartment.

Kaden:

I'm Kaden his roommate. You're the gamer chick, aren't you?

Alice:

Yeah. Is Daniel here? Daniel? Daniel, is this your... Can you come out please?

Genie:

Alice?

Alice:

Yeah.

Kaden:

He's on his way. He's just in the back. So, unannounced visit. Very old school. Very 90s. Most people just text these days.

Alice:

Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Look, dude, can you just grab Daniel please?

Genie:

Alice? Is everything okay?

Alice:

Yeah, I was just in the neighborhood, so.

Kaden:

I was just talking you up, Big D.

Alice:

Hey Daniel, can we just please talk alone?

Genie:

Yeah. Kaden, can you give us some privacy?

Kaden:

Whatever you say, Cuz.

Alice:

I didn't know you had a roommate.

Genie:

I definitely don't. That's my cousin. He's been staying here in the last two days because the pipes at his frat house busted. He's going to be out of here tomorrow morning. I can't wait. Oh, how wild would that would've been if he was my roommate though? Like Kaden, Katie, your friend simulation has a default roommate setting, that's for sure.

Alice:

Yeah, probably does.

Genie:

So you just went on a long drive, in this weather?

Alice:

Yeah.

Kaden:

She got the feels, I'm telling you.

Genie:

Kaden, stop eavesdropping.

Kaden:

Cuz, is it okay if I use one of your CBD bath bombs? I've been feeling hella anxious.

Genie:

I don't care.

Kaden:

Sounds like you do.

Alice:

Hey, can you just leave us alone?

Kaden:

You could have just politely asked for a boundary.

Genie:

My God. Alice, are you okay? You look exhausted.

Alice:

Yeah, I'm fine.

Genie:

Did something happen to you? What's going on?

Alice:

Genie, I lied to you.

Genie:

About What?

Alice:

About the thing. The thing you woke me up about on Sunday. I lied to you.

Genie:

Robert Sky?

Alice:

Yeah. Yeah. That was me. Don't, Genie. You don't even look mad. You're just looking at me like you're sad or something. Just...

Genie:

I don't know what to think right now. And I don't know what I'm more upset about. If it's what you did to them or if it's what you did to me.

Alice:

Genie, I had to lie to you.

Genie:

You should have kept lying. You're a selfish person, you know that? But this is the most selfish thing that you've ever done. I can't stop thinking about that speech you gave me earlier this week, when I asked you if you had something to do with Robert Sky? You had this elaborate script about how you met that guy who thinks we live in a simulation and how he made you realize we're all smaller than we think we are. You made me feel so stupid. You had me convinced you had nothing to do with this, and I hated myself for even thinking it. But you were just socially engineering me.

Alice:

No, I wasn't.

Genie:

I wasn't any different than that person you met on the train. I was a target.

Alice:

That's not true, Genie.

Genie:

Yes, it is. I was at your house last weekend and the whole time we just hung out like everything was normal. And you've been lying to me for weeks, and who knows what else you've been lying to me about for as long as I've known you. Who does that?

Alice:

No, I had to tell you-

Genie:

This conversation is over.

Alice:

No, Genie, don't close the door. I'm scared. Genie. There's all this stuff on the news. And then this guy called me on Signal. He knew who I was. He knew my handle. He said, he's not the FBI or the police. He's somebody else. I think he's maybe another hacker and he's trying to call himself my friend and be like, "I can help you." And he's like really creepy.

Genie:

Stop talking. Stop talking.

Alice:

Genie.

Genie:

I can't hear any of this.

Alice:

I just don't get it. I don't. How does he know who I am, Genie? I covered my tracks. I did everything right.

Genie:

You need to go now.

Alice:

Genie, Genie, Genie. I really need your help. And besides, you're the one who got me into all of this.

Genie:

I didn't get you into this.

Alice:

Okay, I know, but you're the one who saw something in me. You told me you thought that I was good enough, and you were right. I'm really good at this. Do you know how long I've waited to be good at something again? Look, I know I took it way too far, but I don't know what to do.

Genie:

If I was in a difficult situation after a ransomware attack went south, I would get a fake passport on the dark web, and I would leave the country ASAP, because I would know that I could make a good living in a third world country doing whatever it is I wanted to do on the dark web.

Alice:

Oh my God. How am I even supposed to do that? I don't know anything about this stuff.

Genie:

You just said you're good at this. Figure it out.

Alice:

Genie. I'm so sorry.

Genie:

My name is Daniel, and if you'll excuse me, I have family over.

Alice:

Daniel. No, please. Oh God. It's okay. It's okay. You deserve that. He's right, you know? Damn it, he's right. You got to make a plan. Okay, Alice, let's take stock of what we have. So what have I got? Oh God. A bunch of Bitcoin. And I know the dark web like the back of my hand now. I got to find some fake papers. Just find some fake papers, find a car, drive it to Canada or Mexico, and then from there I can get to South America or the Caribbean, not Europe. Europe's definitely out, but I've always wanted to go to India. Just be safe. Alice, you got to be safe. So I guess this is just your life now. You can make whatever you want out of it. Just follow Genie's rules from here on out. Just low risk, reasonable rewards. You got to plan. You can still have life you always wanted, you just got to get out of the country, however you do it. Just get back to Lake Placid and start the next chapter. That's all you got to do. You can do this. God, another Signal message.

John Doe:

The clock is ticking, Alice. I don't have all that.

Alice:

How does he know who I am? He hacked me. He had to have.

John Doe:

I know where you're thinking out was. How are you so lucky to have found such a good friend like me? Does a systems report ring any bells? I wasn't sure if forging a systems report PDF from your ransomware service would work, especially because they don't pick them. And surely someone who jumped the fence into the endpoints of one of the world's biggest corporations wouldn't fall for little old spear fishing. But it's the oldest trick in the book for a reason, because we all want to feel special. I feel very lucky to have found you, Alice. I hope you feel the same.

Alice:

You know what? Screw this guy. All right, stay calm. Just remember the plan. Get to Lake Placid, get on the computer. Figure out what you're going to do next.

NEWS ANNOUNCER:

Grocery stores have begun raising the possibility of legal action while Robert Sky claim-

Alice:

No, definitely not that. Yes, Vivaldi. Vivaldi. (Singing). See, life's going to be good. You don't need some dumb friend. You do you. It's just threats. It's just an empty threat. Wait, why are these cars stopped? Why a DUI? It's like 11:00 AM, a DUI checkpoint? Oh my God. What if they know? No. No way. There's no freaking way, Alice. What? Oh God. There's an FBI van. Is that the agent Arthur was talking about? Okay, Calm down. Calm down. You'll get through this. Okay. Be cool. Be cool. Hey, Officer, how can I help you?

Police Officer:

Hey there, Miss, where are you heading?

Alice:

To Lake Placid.

Police Officer:

Have you been drinking?

Alice:

No, I'm just out for a drive.

Police Officer:

Okay. Roads are a little icy for a drive.

Alice:

Yeah, I noticed they're kind of slippery.

Police Officer:

Can you blow into this breathalyzer, please?

Alice:

Yeah, sure.

Police Officer:

Okay, 0.0. All clear.

Alice:

Thank you.

Police Officer:

Miss, one last thing. Have you seen anyone new around Lake Placid lately? Somebody from out of town might be posing as a remote worker?

Alice:

Whoa, that sounds like it could be me. That's weird, right?

Police Officer:

Thought you were the type. Okay. You're all good. Thank you for the time. Enjoy your drive.

Alice:

Thanks you too, I mean, yeah, have a nice day. My God. I swear they were talking about me. Okay, this is all over, I am definitely having that wine weekend. All right. When you get back to Lake Placid, you need to call Beth. You can bring her the truck late tonight. Maybe you can crash at her place. Oh my God. That's him. Just don't answer. Just, just don't answer. Wait. What is the [inaudible 00:29:40]? What the hell? Hey, Dude, stay in your lane. Stay in your-